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| For the past several months, I have had no interest in dieting. Yes, I don't want to be a big fatty, but lately I've been valuing food more. I'm in a bad place.. I've gained so much weight.
When I found out I was pregnant with Ethan (November 2006) I weight about 270. Right before I have birth to him (August 2007), I weight 305 pounds. A week or two after I had him I dropped almost back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. Now 19 months after having Ethan, I weight about 320 pounds. Nineteen months later and I was 15 pounds MORE than I did 9 months pregnant.
I've got to stop this downward spiral or I will be 400 by the end of the year!
I joined Weight Watchers Online two days ago. I got an iPhone last week, and you can use WW on the iPhone, so I thought that would motivate me to use it, but, I haven't done anything with it yet. I keep making excuses.
I just came across an article about someone who lost 175 pounds. I have a hard time finding other people who have successfully lost as much weight as I need to lose. It was really motivating because her mom was a Weight Watchers leader too, like my mom AND she was 23 when she started her diet, I am also 23. Is this a sign?
Another huge motivation for me is the return of thickveggiegirl! In 2005 or 2006, she was linked to my website from a mutual friend. It inspired her to lose weight and she did! She dropped those pounds like a pro! She stopped writing on Xanga two years ago, and I really missed her posts. Well, she is back, and while she has put on a little weight, she could have done much worse damage in two years, so I think she is doing a fabulous job! Plus, now she is back to lose the weight she did gain back.
It's hard to believe I inspired anyone. I'm glad she was able to keep the weight off. When I started that diet that inspired her, I was 280 pounds, when I quit that diet I was about 250. I have gained 70 pounds since then!
I hope you'all will hear more from me soon! I'd really like to want to lose weight enough to take that step. | | |
| I feel so bad for this girl. People are making fun of her all over the internet, mostly for being overweight. Stupid comments like she was crying because she doesn't know where to get her next fried Oreo, or the concession stand was closed, etc.
People calling her as bad as Hitler for being so big when there are other people in the world starving. When people look at me, another overweight American, is fat all they see? There are thousands of people on the interwebs today poking fun at this poor girl... Maybe it's just because I'm "fat" too so I know what she is going through, but it is making me really depressed that people can be so hateful. http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/gr...id=44175418865 http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showth...hp?t=113234861 http://www.google.com/search?q=ou+cr...ient=firefox-a | | |
| My husband and I probably eat the same amount of calories a day. Yes, I have a much bigger sweet tooth, but he drinks soda all day and eats breakfast and lunch at McDonalds/Arby's/Burger King, etc.
However, I have had a weight problem my whole life and he never has.
He tries to tell me all the time how to lose weight. They are the stupidest ideas ever! Like I need to eat all carbs because that is what your body burns first.
I F*CKING KNOW HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT!
It doesn't show of course, because I can't stick to a diet for more than a few months, and then afterward I gain back what I lost (plus some).
He is so unsupportive too! Today he asked me how much I weighed. I told him I didn't want to tell him. He pushed and pushed until I told him a number 30 pounds below my actual weight. He then proceeded to make fun of me about it.
I told him he doesn't help. If I try to cook healthy he complains that he doesn't get enough food. I tried cooking seperate meals, but while taking care of a 16 month old too, that is just too much work! Since I pay for food and he pays the bills, he said that I would have to start paying half the bills if I couldn't cook him enough food.
I'm so depressed. I hardly am making it by financially as it is.
A couple days ago I bought some Truvia (stevia) to sweeten my tea instead of sugar. He gives me sh*t for buying a $6 box of sweetener (with my money), when he makes me buy him much more in sugary soda, which I do not drink.
Anyway, so I told him I know how to lose weight, I just can't stick to it. He asks, why can't you? I say, for the same reason you can't quit smoking! He says, oh I will quit smoking as soon as I see that it is effecting me. BULL SH*T!
How can my husband... someone who is supposed to love and support me... make me feel guilty about my weight but do absolutely nothing to help me lose it.
I really hate my life right now.
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| i want to lose weight so that i can ride in a hot air balloon
i want to lose weight so i can ride on rides at the fair and amusement parks
i want to lose weight so that i can dress cute and go shopping with my skinny friends
i want to lose weight so i can dance my ass off
i want to lose weight for a new car (my grandmother promised one.. but with the financial crisis she may have to take back her offer)
i want to lose weight so maybe my pcos will go away
i want to lose weight so i have more energy
i want to lose weight so i can ride a bike all over town
i want to lose weight so my blood pressure will go down
i want to lose weight so my cholesterol will get better
i want to lose weight so i can be a good example for my son
i want to lose weight so my husband will stop smoking
i want to lose weight so i can be more flexible 
i want to lose weight so i won't be nervous about meeting new people
i want to lose weight so that my neck doesn't feel sweaty/sticky anymore (weird, i know)
i want to lose weight so i can join a roller derby team
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| So what's going. Right now I'm hoping my darling son falls asleep. He is teething a molar and it hurts him, so he is tired and cranky, I'm kind of cranky too so I wish he would just take a nap.
So I get my birth control from the health department but they are kind of a pain in the ass. I should not complain though, because it beats my $50+/month prescription. They check my blood pressure which is almost always too high.. so approx. 4 months ago I had to go every week for at least 4 or 5 to get my blood pressure checked. When it was finally good enough, they gave me three months of pills and I went on my merry way. Since then I got married and had a honeymoon and gained back like 25-30 pounds (that I had just previously lost). So I went back last week to get more pills and of course my blood pressure was too high.. went again today and it was still to high... grr. What's funny is on every weekly visit they give me like 20 condoms to cover me since I'm not on the pill. Come on, I've been w/my husband for over 3 1/2 years (even if we just got married) - We are lucky if we need more than one condom per week. Also can't complain though, because I do not want anymore kids soon or maybe ever, so I better be protected :P
Needless to say I need to get healthy so I can get some damn birth control!!!
I feel like poo today. I got about 6 hours sleep, which I know is typical for most, but it just did not do it for me. At like 930 or 10 this morning I went down for a nap and had a w-e-i-r-d. Granted, I usually have weird dreams, but I also usually forget them because I can blog about them. I dreamed that we had moved to this other house that was SUPER dirty and gross, and that my husband was working night shifts again. I woke up in the morning right before my husband should get home, and my ex that I left for my husband was in bed with me. We had not done anything but he had snuck into my house while I was sleeping and crawled into my bed. I woke up freaked because I knew my husband was going to find us and think we were hooking up. I ran into the shower (which makes me look more guilty doesn't it :P) with my clothes still on and just cried because we were living in suck a nasty pit. My husband got home and he and my ex just said "Hi" to eachother like nothing was up. Then we went swimming in our back yard. My ex put something in the water that was supposed to relax me and it worked I think but it also made the water mud colored and I was scared my son would fall in and I wouldn't be able to find him... I was naked in the pool and my mom and step dad were there too but I guess it didn't matter because you couldn't see anything under the mud colored water. I know there was more but that is all I can remember right now....
I woke up like 1 1/2 hours later when my son woke up from his nap and I felt so crappy. I just wanted to stay curled up in bed all day. Boo hoo!
I have still yet to shower, get dressed, and so on.. but later I am supposed to go meet with some potential clients with my mom. I own a sign business but I don't have any customers yet so life sucks, lol. I know what I am doing, but it's been so long that I actually dealed with customers I feel so unconfident. I feel like I look soo unprofessional.. I don't want to go meet anybody.. I have no idea what to say. I don't have my pricing set in stone. Ugh life sucks and I feel like an uber failure :(
SHIIIIT! So my brother is 19 and one of his best female friends since forever is pregnant. I put it all together because she dropped out of school to work full time and suddenly got engaged to her boyfriend... plus when I saw her at my wedding I noticed something of a baby bump. I asked my brother a couple weeks ago if she was pregnant and he told me that indeed she was, but not to tell anybody because NOBODY knows except her boyfriend.
Well, two weeks have passed and she still has not told anybody and I assume she is 4-5 months pregnant, so after making sure nobody else can access her email, I sent her the following message:
I don't know if [my brother] told you I know.. and don't get mad if he didn't
tell you. I kind of put it together on my own and asked him and he told
me. Nobody else knows.
Congratulations!
I know your stressed right now.. as was I.. but if I can help you with ANYTHING just let me know.
I
don't know your parents, but I was terrified to tell mine, and they
took it a lot better than expected. You might be surprised!
Don't know if you have good health insurance or not, but you should apply for [Medicade ... and this is where you apply...].
Also WIC will give you
vouchers for food and vouchers for formula or a breat pump when time
comes. Formula can be expensive so it was a HUGE help.
Do you know how far a long you are?
I hope I'm not being to forward..
Again, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask, [my phone number].
Well my brother just sent me a pissed text message that I said something to her. I honestly feel bad, but at the same time, I think I went about it very grown up, and she NEEDS to tell her family and get some medical care. I haven't been around drama for like 4 years so I am not enjoying this. My brother and I have a great relationship and I can't imagine him getting too mad at me, but his relationship with this girl is pretty important to him too (though I doubt they'll see much of eachother when she is married with children). What should I do? | | |
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